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Dear Future Lover, From a Woman With Borderline Personality Disorder

By Rachael Seider Dear future lover, Love me as a whole.I will give you my soul.When we get into a small fight,The fear that you will leave me feels right. When you say something I don’t like,I want to say, “Take a hike.”Baby, please stay.Accept my fear.Please, don’t shed a tear. Dear future lover, If you make even the smallest mistake,My heart may break.I may try to push you away once more.But please, understand what I am doing it for. Give me some space.When I forgive you, I will race,Race right into your loving caress.My next episode is our best guess.Together we can beat my borderline.Working as a team,We’ll be just fine. Dear future lover, Some days, I may forget...

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Tired of Fighting

You know that feeling?When you’re just waiting.Waiting to get home, into your room,Close the door, fall into bed,And just let everything out that you kept in all day.That feeling of both relief and desperation.Nothing is wrong.But nothing is right either.And you’re tired.Tired of everything, tired of nothing.And you just want someone to Be there and tell you it’s okay.But no one’s going to be there.And you know you have to be strongFor yourself, because no one can fix youBut you’re tired of waiting.Tired of having to be the one to fix yourself and everyone else.Tired of being strong.And for once, you just want it to be easy.To be simple. To be helped. To be saved.But you know you won’t be.But...

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Symptoms of Depression

Feeling down from time to time is a normal part of life, but when emotions such as hopelessness and despair take hold and just won't go away, you may have depression. Depression makes it tough to function and enjoy life like you once did. Just getting through the day can be overwhelming. But no matter how hopeless you feel, you can get better. Learning about depression—and the many things you can do to help yourself—is the first step to overcoming the problem. How do you experience depression? While some people describe depression as “living in a black hole” or having a feeling of impending doom, others feel lifeless, empty, and apathetic. Men in particular may even feel angry and restless....

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Somedays...

Some days you just feel so alone and no one understands you, they don't understand how you feel when you have an anxiety attack or panic attack or when you're so down on yourself you can't even get out of bed and no it's not because Were a weak minded person it's because we have a chemical imbalance and yes Some of us have to take a pill every day to help stabilize our moods because of borderline personality disorder/bipolar. Where one second you could be the happiest go lucky person on earth to feeling like your the worst hopeless loser, no one loves you, gross, ugly, mad at the world person on earth. It's not fun living every day battle with...

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